Posted by Les Mauvaises Herbes
The subject of this column: toilets, bums & bidets.
Like it or not, we spend quite a bit of time in the bathroom throughout our lives, and the bathroom is a rather important place in terms of our ecological footprint.
According to the very serious World Toilet Organization, we go to the bathroom an average of 2,500 times a year. That’s no small feat!
Doing better in the powder room is quite simple. And for us, that means a bidet!
The principle is simple: the bidet is installed under the toilet seat (bidet attachment) or on the tank (bidet sprayer), transforming the toilet into a SUPER TOILET.
The good news: there is absolutely no need to spend a fortune on a Japanese toilet that sings or chirps! The market is overflowing with types of bidets and alternatives. Your bidet is waiting for you somewhere.
Why do we love bidets so much? We’ll explain everything.
1. A sparkling backside, truly.
Let’s look at the facts.
When you get home after a long day at work and a subway ride, what do you do? You wash your hands. You don’t just rub them on a dry towel.
And before eating, what do you do? You wash your hands. You don’t wipe them on a dry piece of paper.
We might expect the same for the throne, right?
Let’s not mince words: do you feel cleaner wiping urine and fecal matter with dry paper, or by using a stream of water? We choose the Bota Bota-style tushy experience.
Honestly, once you use a bidet at home, you miss that incomparable feeling of cleanliness when you spend time elsewhere and there isn't one.
« If a bird pooped on my arm (something that happens to me abnormally often), would I wipe it off with a napkin and wait for my next shower to clean it thoroughly? Mmmm, no! »
— Mariane
2. A more ecological alternative to toilet paper
As for which is more eco-friendly, the question arises: a toilet bidet or toilet paper?
« A bidet uses water, doesn't it? »
With that argument in mind, one might tend to say that it’s better to use toilet paper.
Well, it turns out that a roll of toilet paper seems quite harmless, but it actually doesn't have a very good report card.
1- From an environmental perspective, producing a single roll of toilet paper requires 37 gallons of water.
37. GALLONS. OF WATER.
You will never spend enough time on the bowl to use that much water. In fact, if you do, something is wrong.
2- Toilet paper is made of paper, which comes from trees. According to Greenpeace, planned logging often encroaches on old-growth Canadian forests. According to National Geographic, 27,000 trees are cut down every day so we can wipe our bums with them.
27,000. TREES.
PER DAY.
We flush a staggering amount of trees to wipe our rears. Hmm.
3- To top it all off, from an economic standpoint, we are literally sending our money down the toilet. And we’ve wiped our butts with it.
4- Finally, from a health perspective, bleaching agents aren't without consequences for the body. Bisphenol A, an endocrine disruptor, might even be found in recycled paper.
3. Money savings
One of the advantages of the bidet is that it allows you to replace traditional toilet paper with washable toilet wipes. For number 1s and number 2s! You rinse away urine and fecal matter with water, then quickly dry off with a piece of cloth.
If you take the leap, apart from the small initial investment (which can be almost zero if you opt for homemade wipes, old cut-up t-shirts, or baby washcloths), you will have one less recurring expense and will recoup your money quite quickly. YEAH!
Not ready to wipe with cloth yet? That's fine. Using a bidet remains super cost-effective for the environment and your wallet: rinsing before wiping significantly reduces the amount of toilet paper you need to use. Bye bye, giant wad of TP! Hello, reasonable amount of toilet paper to dab off a bit of water.
According to Statistics Canada, each Canadian uses an average of 22 kg of toilet paper per year, while the global annual average is less than 4 kg. We’re overdoing it a bit, aren't we? That’s 120 rolls of toilet paper per person per year, and 480 rolls for a family of 4.
That’s a lot of rolls. A lot of water. A lot of trees.
4. Menstruation 2.0
Being able to clean your vulva easily after every menstrual cup emptying or change of a washable sanitary pad is priceless.
You have to experience it to understand.
5. A dream postpartum
You know, that post-birth war zone? Ever had to pee with a little spray bottle to relieve the pain because you tore and it’s really not pleasant?
A few of us here know the feeling, and we swear that a bidet will REVOLUTIONIZE your toilet sessions during the postpartum period.
Imagine a refreshing, continuous jet of water at the desired pressure. HALLELUJAH. Just be careful to set the jet to the gentle mode so you don’t re-attack your sensitive war zone.
In practice, what's it like?
« My toilet paper consumption has DRASTICALLY decreased. Really. I now only use it to dab away water, so I use very little each time. I wouldn’t trade my bidet seat for the world; the feeling of cleanliness is incomparable, and honestly, I don’t understand why it isn’t the norm on all toilets. Since I’ve understood the deal, I find us pretty silly for thinking it’s normal to wipe with dry paper. »
— Marie
« I had bought a bidet seat that connects to hot water (more expensive), because the idea of cleaning myself with cold water was a bit off-putting (lol), but in the end, it’s totally useless because by the time the warm water reaches your behind, you’ve had time to wash yourself 5 times, haha! Honestly, you get used to cleaning with cold water really quickly. It soon becomes normal and not at all traumatizing. As for paper: I don’t use toilet paper anymore. Woohoo! Only washable wipes. Magical. I only keep one or two rolls for visitors.»
— Mariane
Bidet: which one to choose?
You can find them in many hardware stores, bathroom equipment shops, or online. There really is a wide variety for all tastes and budgets!
Bidet attachment: installs under the toilet seat and works using one or more nozzles that spray water where needed, either front or back, at the desired intensity. Some operate with warm water, but the general verdict is that you get used to rinsing with room-temperature water very quickly.
Incompatible toilet? It can happen: toilet positioned along a wall or against a piece of furniture on the right side, or the shape of the toilet itself. The bidet sprayer is the ideal alternative! Less expensive than a "real" bidet, it is a small shower head that hooks onto the toilet tank. This type of bidet allows for truly adapted rinsing because you hold the sprayer in your hands: you can point the jet exactly where you want and rinse from front to back. The bidet sprayer can also be used to rinse menstrual cups and cloth diapers, and to give the bowl a deep clean!
Portable bidet: for use at home or while traveling, this alternative is the most economical! It consists of a small water reservoir equipped with a nozzle that works by squeezing the reservoir. Simple, economical, portable!
So? Which one are you choosing?
